by Lisa Emig (Cincinnati, OH)UNTIL LAST NIGHT, I didn’t feel like I had any significant mismatches….. that was last night.
On my way home from the piazza, I encountered a middle age man, probably slightly older than me. He was carrying groceries up via Lapis and I said “Ciao” as we passed. He said “Buono sera” walked about four more steps then began to speak to me in Italian. I did not hear any words I recognized, so I told him I was Americana. He thinks about it and looks for another way to get his message across. He doesn’t seem frustrated…just anxious for me to understand. I had the same experience with others in the Piazza, so I didn’t think much of it.
He finally comes back in English with “I love you”. Me, thinking this was the only English he knew and he was trying to make a connection said in return, “Ok, I love you too”. As I begin to walk towards my house, he changes direction and begins to walk with me. This is when I realize he means he would like to “love” me and apparently I had just consented. I turned to him and I think he realized I now understood his intent and I told him….”oh! no”. He just said ”ah, ok” and walked up the street.
In the US, you are not typically approached by strangers on the street asking you to “love” them. You have guys who wolf whistle and make obscene comments but not usually a middle age man, carrying groceries, stop to ask for a “hook up”. Nor do you usually have a situation where you apparently agree to a “hook up”, back out and not have the man upset.
It was such a weird, random even, unexpected and out of context, that my mind did not even consider he was propositioning me. Although I had had informal conversations with Darcy that marriage was “open” in Italy, I was surprised and unprepared for this encounter. The odd thing was I was not scared of him or concerned that when I told him know, he would respond maliciously. Like most things Ive experienced in Italy, it’s all laid back (bro).
* * *
THERE IS ONLY ONE MAIN CLOCK in the piazza. There are no digital clocks on every the bank. There are no clocks in the caffes. I live and die by timelines and deadlines at work. No wonder people in the US are so stressed! The Italians live in the moment. We have an entire pop sub-culture dedicated to learning to live in the moment. Being present and not worrying about where you need to be or what you need to do. I have yet to see anyone hurry or appear to be late. You eat when you are hungry; you visit with people as you pass.They don’t seem to over schedule their children. There is no need. This community is safe and the children just play. Stores open “sometime”; in fact, one of the signs on a business in Venice literally said “Open Some Time”. There are no 24 hour stores. I’m not really looking forward to going back to a culture which is constantly concerned with what time it is and how efficiently I use my time.
